I realized a couple days ago that I want to be a princess still. Kinda like when I was a little girl. I want to be a princess as much as I want to be a saint. But before you roll your eyes, hear me out.
I don’t want to be the girl that everyone thinks is just so beautiful. I don’t want to have the glamorous gowns and sparkling jewelry. I don’t want to be waited on, hand and foot. But I do want the prince, and the epic, heroic moment.
I have always pictured this epic moment as one of those scenes where the prince is valiantly fighting for his princess, because he knows he has someone worth fighting for. But in a sudden turn of events, the enemy has the upper hand. Things don’t look so good for the prince. Now the princess gets her heroic moment where she runs in to save him, and she turns everything around. Because of her courageous action, the prince is able to get up and finish the fight. They’ll have won the battle together, because they did it for the good of the other.
A friend of mine recently told me I remind her of Belle, from Beauty and the Beast. I thought it was an awesome compliment, to be compared to a Disney princess. So I compared my story to hers too.
Belle is an only child to a single father. He ends up being a prisoner in the Beast’s castle, but with a self-sacrificing act to save her father, Belle takes his place instead. She doesn’t know it, but the Beast has to get her to fall in love with him, or he will keep the appearance of a beast forever. Slowly, as he pursues her, Belle and the Beast fall in love.
But then the Beast also makes a self-sacrificing act in order to set her free. His sacrifice allows her to really live, not live as a prisoner. She goes on her way. She can either choose to come back to him, or carry on as though he meant nothing to her. But then, as he’s under attack, it becomes a matter of life or death. She remembers their love for each other, and comes running back to him when the battle is raging on.
And so Belle just stands there, watching him get attacked, and she won’t run in there and help defend him. She doesn’t even tell her family how important he is to her—she’s just too embarrassed. She won’t stand behind her prince. She’d rather pretend this isn’t happening. She lets everyone else fight to save him, but she, herself, does nothing.
She obviously doesn’t just stand by and do nothing. But what a disappointing ending that would have been! People would think she was a terrible princess. Would she really be a princess at all? But I realized that this is how my “princess story” tends to look.
I’m just the girl who stands by and watches as the Prince is under attack, too afraid to say anything. Everything He stands for is being persecuted, but I so easily feel embarrassed of Him. I’m not a princess. I’m not that courageous.
But I want to be. Because I know He’s worth it. He’s worth those moments where I charge in there to defend Him and say that I’m with Him until the end. He’s worth those moments where I’m not afraid to say that I am Catholic, and say that I love God. I want to be able to share my faith with my family, rather than feel embarrassed by it. I want to be like Belle, who runs into the chaos to be beside her prince, in full knowledge of the battle that rages on around them. I have always wanted that “epic, heroic moment” like I’ve pictured in my mind—but this IS that moment, but I haven’t been playing my part.
That’s why I say I still want to be a princess. I don’t desire to fit the glamorous stereotype little girls think of. To me, the word “princess” has a completely different definition. She is the daughter of the King. She is courageous. She is not ashamed. She stands for what is right, and stands behind her Prince through the battle.
I want to be THAT kind of princess.
That’s why I’m writing this post. I kind of contemplated writing it for a while, but figured I would die of embarrassment if this kind of stuff were to get out. So here’s an attempt at being courageous. If I am supposed to be the daughter of the King, isn’t it about time I started acting like it?
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.”
- The Princess Diaries