It is simple but it’s not easy -that is why so few attain it. It takes trust and patience and knowing that if one gives the Lord this time (a time which is determined by the Lord and the individual) they will be blessed beyond their imagination and they will receive beyond their imagination. A relationship takes time. More for some than others. Our God is a jealous God, He wants you totally. I am totally His and now married. It is much more difficult to attain it the other way around due to the amount of distractions. Here is a simple example from my own personal experience. Once I began college I never had a job interview or asked for a job. I have always had my resume ready but every job I have had the employer sought me out, the job was perfect and my pay was always more than I expected. In my life I have gone home crying more tears of joy and greatfulness than I have of lonesomeness and sorrow.
In a nut shell, I encourage you to detach yourself from everyone and everything and give it to the Lord and sit back and watch what He does with it. I am not saying become a hermit but rather -prefer the Lord to anyone or thing. Hang out with Him more than you have ever before. Here are some examples of what I did: Chat with Him throughout the day. Before you get out of bed greet Him and say “so what do you want to do today?” “What would you like me to have for breakfast?” “What would you like me to have for lunch?” “Do you want me to hang out or talk with this or that person?” “Do you want me to go to this event or this event or should we just take a walk?” Talk to Him in detail about your joys and your struggles. Go on dates with Him (Mass, holy hour, and just a quick hey and a wink when you walk by the Church.) He does respond to everything, it’s amazing what I heard when I began to listen. I found out soon that my heart and head were fickle and not trust worthy but my gutt was sincere. At first I often had to pull back into silence to quiet my head and heart so I could hear my gutt. When I went to bed, I thanked Him for the day and asked Mary for a surprise tomorrow.
Just a quick note!
The more you give Him the more He gives you so you can in turn give it to others regardless of what vocation you choose. It’s a life changing experience!
It was the day I had been waiting for and the day I was dreading. I had spent 1 whole year on a fast from the one thing I wanted most…a courting relationship. In order to establish relationships with students, teammates, and mission partners, first year missionaries go on what is called a “Dating Fast”. We commit ourselves not to date for our first year on staff with FOCUS. I had been nervous to come off the dating fast. I had become comfortable with having a ‘buffer’ around me. I was not available, now, the guard was coming down, but why was it scary? I had spent a year learning how much Jesus desired my heart. Now I had to learn how to believe I was desirable to a good young man. That should have come with realizing how deeply Jesus desired me, but it didn’t. I knew coming to training there would be a certain young man who would be asking me out on a date, and I knew I would say ‘yes.’ Why was I afraid? I began to pray about the tension in my heart only to realize I did not trust our Lord in my relationships with the men around me. I have never dated, so a relationship still scared me. What if he didn’t know what he was doing? What if we both couldn’t figure it out? As I prayed, Psalm 91 came to mind. Jesus would protect me. He wanted me to trust His plan, not mine. My heart surged with the desire to be wanted and the YES! I wanted to give it that young man. I was ready, but where was he?
Slowly, the questions, the overanalyzing, and the insecurities popped into my mind. ‘Was I not the girl he was waiting for? What was wrong with me? Could this whole little crush been completely false? I must not be pretty enough. I must not be desirable.’ The devil was filling my head with lies. Why do we women want to be desired in the core of our hearts? This question now pops up even more close to my heart than before.
The longing to be desired was meant for Christ to desire our hearts, but in our world, that longing has been twisted. We begin to place that longing to be desired on anything, men, talents, jobs, friendships, etc. It can manifest itself anywhere! The devil is very cunning and loves to trip us up. Time and again we fall into this lie of not being good enough, of not being wanted. BUT this is far from the truth. As a beautiful daughter of God and bride of the Prince of Peace, you are desired. Scripture tells us, “I will betroth you to Me forever; Yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and in justice, in loving kindness and in compassion, and I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. Then you will know the LORD.” (Hosea 2: 19-20)
How do we untwist our desires? First find a mentor. As fallen creatures, we need an example to follow. Who can we follow? As women, the perfect example we can follow is our beautiful and loving Mother, Mary. She gave her heart to God and allowed Him to have complete control of her life. She trusted Him with her heart, mind, body, and soul. She knew above all else that she was desired by her Father.
Archbishop Fulton Sheen said it best:
“Every man who pursues a maid, every maid who yearns to be courted, every bond of friendship in the universe, seeks a love that is not just her love or his love but something that overflows both her and him that is called “our love”. Everyone is in love with an ideal love, a love that is so far beyond sex that sex is forgotten. We all love something more than we love. When that overflow ceases, love stops. As the poet puts it: “I could not love thee, dear, so much, loved I not honor more.”
That ideal love we see beyond all creature-love, to which we instinctively turn when flesh-love fails, is the same ideal that God had in His Heart from all eternity – the Lady whom He calls “Mother”. She is the one whom every man loves when he loves a woman – whether he knows it or not. She is what every woman wants to be when she looks at herself. She is the woman whom every man marries in ideal when he takes a spouse; she is hidden as an ideal in the discontent of every woman with the carnal aggressiveness of man; she is the secret desire every woman has to be honored and fostered; she is the way every woman wants to command respect and love because of the beauty of her goodness of body and soul. And this blueprint love, whom God loved before the world was made, this Dream Woman before women were, is the one of whom every heart can say in its depths of depths: “She is the woman I love!”
Pray to Mary for purity of heart and purity of desires. Ask Jesus to open your heart to being aware of His desire for you.
Jesus will pursue you. He loves showering his brides with compliments and flowers. He wants you to open your heart to His pursuit. Give him permission to pursue you.
